The two sides of the coin

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, hut now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believed! (John Newton 1779)

That feeling of wretchedness that one feels.

That “how do thoughts like this cross my mind?” thought.

That “what good am I?” or “I’m just a good for nothing” depressed attitude.

Are all the same side of the coin.

The other side is:

God is great.

God is loving and merciful.

God is the one and only to be praised and glorified.

God is the purpose of life and living.

When we relate to one side without it’s other. We are just liars and cheats.

The coin is whole and comes as one.

It can’t be divided.

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בנוניות כל הדרך לשטן

אע"פ שכבר דברתי על זה בעבר. זה עולה לי שוב הצורך להעמיד דברים במקומם.

יש החושבים, שלמה לי להיות עשר, זה לוקח יותר מדי כוחות כשמתחשק לי להפנות לכיפיים שלי. די לי להיות שמונה.

באולם הקונצרטים די לי להיות בשורה החמישי, מה כל כך שווה להיות בשורה הראשונה?

למה לדחף להיות ראשון ב… יש עוד מקומות. העיקר שלא להיות מהאחרונים.

המציאות של התחברות לאלוהים הרבה יותר בינרי. או כן או לא. האפשריות מצמצמות. אין כמעט, ואין מספיק.

הדימוי שגם על זה כבר דיברתי, של הזחל גולם ופרפר די מדויקת.

הזחל כל עוד שהוא חי ומסתפק בהיותו זחל, לעולם לא יגיע למצב של גולם. ובהתאם לא יולד או ייהפך לעיקרו הפרפר.

עולם שיש בו הלפחות, והיהיה בסדר, ואין מה לעשות.

הוא עולם שלא מוכן לתיקון.

הוא עולם תקוע.

הוא עולם שמקבל ומסכם ומהלל הרע.

הוא העולם של השטן.

התוצאה היא שאין תפילה.

אין מעשה והבינוניות חוגגת.

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What hurts God?

We’re so busy with our shopping lists, what do I want and what do I dream.

We’re so busy with pains and screams who gives a shit what God damn needs?

I come first my vacation or lust.

I come first my eye for must.

God gives and will give me more.

Will it be pain or my more and more?

I’m a good for nothing self pleaser at best.

But one thing I know is that God knows best.

(when did I start rappin ?????)

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The greatest con artists are ourselves

How to we watch ourselves from them? How do we protect ourselves from there lies?

We are trapped with our ability to see clearly blurred but our desires.

If God doesn’t save us from ourselves who will?

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My body is mine, really ?

It’s my body and I can do what I want to.

If I feel that I want to puncture it I’ll pierce it how I feel fit.

If I feel that I want to illuminate it I’ll tattoo it how I feel fit.

If I feel I had enough of life I’ll commit suicide.

If I feel that this thing growing inside me is unwanted I’ll have it aborted.

If I feel that I want to eat I will do so even if I bust.

If I feel that I don’t want to eat I’ll starve myself.

If I don’t like the way I look I’ll have it changed accordingly.

If I feel that my sex is not what I want I’ll have it changed.

If I feel my religion is wrong I’ll convert.

And the list only has begun.

Is living a right?

Is dying a right?

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at least לפחות

I seemed to have confused my understanding of בדיעבד I understood it as "at least", it’s real meaning is "in retrospect", "post factum" or "after the event" and is the opposite to לכתחילה which means "from the start" or "a priori".

"At least" לפחות is insufficiently, not entirely, incompletely

It is NOT "at most" or completely.

Our presence on earth in front of God demands nothing less then בכל לבבך בכל נפשך ובכל מאודך With all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.

At least isn’t good at all. It’s existence allows room for mediocrity בינוניות. It puts a stumbling stone in the path of redemption and under minds the presence of God.

At least allows the caterpillar to accept his state and not enter "Pupa" the transition stage, to finally arrive at what he was created to be the beautiful butterfly.

יהיה בסדר It will be alright, is close to אין מה לעשות there’s nothing to do. It is the ultimate excuse for not doing thing right in the first place.

A good friend of "At least" is "Good enough" which is the ideology representing the mental embodiment of a person who could physically obtain perfection, but, under the circumstances, does not. Therefore, he is good enough.

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The candle burns brightest just before it goes out.

My Mother passed away.

Her activities and mobility were in decline for quite a while, gradually leaving her with relatively little, but with the understanding that her end was near and that there was nothing for her to do to change that, except to accept it.

One of my sisters who lives quite a distance away came thinking that mom’s end was near.

But while attending to mom, attempted and succeeded to bring the life and willingness to live back into her, Or so I thought.

She stayed awhile and then left stating, that she would come again very soon. But with here departure things went straight downhill until mom’s passing away.

I don’t know the source of the quote "The candle burns brightest just before it goes out." But I feel we saw an example of this with my Mom.

Trump is good for Israel and the Jewish people in ways we haven’t seen for a long time. The decline of pro-Israel stands in the Whitehouse has been gradually and continually growing weaker.

Trump seems like the dream come true, but is he not just a rising flame before the end?

America has some serious issues. The polarization is not allowing for free thought to be expressed. The greed which allowed Americas growth is destroying it from the inside.

Whatever comes next will blame Trump and accordingly his Jewish staff and Israel.

The end of free America is near.

One (non existent) nation under God (which is non constitutional) with liberty (but only if it pays well) and justice (if you call it that) to all (only with the right lawyers)

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